I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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