You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize