she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
