Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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