So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
