Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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