Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
