my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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