i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Never let your siblings swipe right.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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