He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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