Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
