My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive