thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.