Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(