Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
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im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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