I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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