id be glad to
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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