Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
