My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
