first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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