i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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