just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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