Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize