I only kidnapped one of them. chill
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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