Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
