i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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