Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
