Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
