Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
