he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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