i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
