Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize