How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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