didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
