You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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