White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
