oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
