yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
