It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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