I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
