i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
