I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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