She's JV to your varsity
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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