I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
