im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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