Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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