I love black thongs
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
