Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Your dad touched me again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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