i just google imaged poop.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How many fucks given?
0.12846
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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