Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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