we have officially lost it.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
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Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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