GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
why is half of my head shaved?
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