Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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