Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
