therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
