Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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