is your mom at the bar?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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