WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
