he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
