he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
