Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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