You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
