he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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