so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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